


Naiveté

by Adenil



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Crack, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-21 05:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1538978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adenil/pseuds/Adenil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom was sure he’d seen a movie like this once. The experienced friend, sex-crazed and horny, manipulates his naïve friend into all sorts of wacky, subtextual situations. If it hadn’t been made into a movie, it need to happen, and quickly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Naiveté

**Author's Note:**

> So I spent 48 straight hours (no sleeping!) reading Voyager fanfics, and then this happened...

“Oh, wait, I’ve got a blanket here…”

 

Tom was sure he’d seen a movie like this once. The experienced friend, sex-crazed and horny, manipulates his naïve friend into all sorts of wacky, subtextual situations. If it hadn’t been made into a movie, it need to happen, and quickly.

 

He watched as Harry disappeared into the bed room and returned clutching a blanket in his hands. “Sorry, I’ve only got the one,” he said as he draped it over the two of them. “Unless you want to spend some rations to replicate another?”

 

“Nah, its fine.” He threw his arm back over the couch, noting mildly that their new closer quarters meant he was essentially pulling the yawn-and-stretch on his friend. But really, this wasn’t his fault. When he’d mentioned he was feeling a little chilly he’d expected to muss with the environmental controls, not cuddle under a blanket. But silly, innocent Harry had no second thoughts about it.

 

_Still_ , he thought to himself as the screen in front of them flashed brilliant colors, _this does give_ me _a few ideas…_

 

*

 

 

“What’s this?”

 

“It’s a guide. You know. To help you catch a girl.”

 

“ _How to Kiss?_ Tom is this one of your—”

 

“There’s other advice there, too. Just read it, okay? The ladies will thank you.”

 

*

 

“C’mon, Harry! Work with me here! I feel totally exposed!”

 

“You are totally exposed, Tom. Just because you decided to fall down a ravine and tear your uniform all to shreds doesn’t mean I have to take mine off. That is a violation of the dress code.”

 

Tom waved the pitiful remains of his shirt at Harry, who continued his slow march up the side of the ravine. “It’s not just torn! Look at it; the entire back’s gone! I stick out like a sore thumb with you all prim and proper over there.”

 

“Tom, it isn’t happening.”

 

“If you don’t do this I will never stop complaining.”

 

Harry let out a quick sigh. “Fine!” He pulled his over shirt off and threw it at Tom. “Wear this, okay?”

 

“But then we would look even more uneven, plus I’d be in the wrong colors. Keep up, Harry!”

 

With an eye roll that could move mountains Harry whipped off his undershirt, clutching it tightly in his hand. “Fine, but I’m putting mine _back on_ as soon as _Voyager_ figures out where we are.”

 

“That’s fine, Harry.” He grinned. “Really, I do feel better now…”

 

*

 

“You seriously thought I wouldn’t figure out who ‘Pom Taris’ was?”

 

“What? Who’s that?”

 

“…The author of your dating book.”

 

“Never heard of him.”

 

*

 

“Tom, wait, it’s getting late. I have a duty shift in four hours.”

 

“So?” Tom yawned. “I do, too.”

 

“So, we can’t watch horror films all night. I need some sleep.”

 

Tom sighed petulantly. “Aw, Harry, I don’t want to walk all the way back to my quarters.”

 

Harry paused, considering. “Well, I guess you can stay here.”

 

_Score!_

 

“Here, you can take the couch and…”

 

_Not score…_

 

 

*

 

“Lieutenant Paris what kind of advice is this?”

 

Tom caught Harry by the arms and stood him up, holding him steady as he waved a data pad around. “Harry, did Neelix feed you some of the red stuff? I’m pretty sure that’s basically pure alcohol.”

 

“No, your stupid book is pure stupid.” He waved the pad around. “The first chapter is all about practicing kissing! But! It doesn’t say who to practice with? What? Should I grab Seven?”

 

Tom shook head, knowing instantly that would be a very poor idea.

 

*

 

_Sigh_.

 

“…Why are you sighing, Tom?” Harry asked wearily.

 

“Oh, just thinking about how my back is going to feel tomorrow.” He stretched his back and popped his spine dramatically. “This couch of yours isn’t the most comfortable.”

 

“You’ve slept on it fine the past few nights.”

 

“I know, but it’s starting to build.”

 

“Well, you know you could always go back to _your_ quarters. Where you’re _supposed_ to sleep.”

 

Tom activated his puppy-dog eyes.

 

_Sigh_.

 

“Fine. I have another idea, but you’ll have to put up with me elbowing you in the night.”

 

_Score!_

 

*

 

Harry pressed their lips together hungrily and Tom froze. He felt his eyes drift shut as Harry pressed more insistently, tugging at his bottom lip with his teeth. His tongue demanded entrance at Tom could do nothing to stop him as he explored his mouth languidly for a few heated moments before pulling back to level Tom with an even stare.

 

“So how was that?”

 

“That’s the…” Tom tried not to gulp, really he did. “That’s the kind of first kiss you’d give a girl?’

 

“Yeah, I guess. I mean if she was as into it as you were pretending to be.”

 

Tom puffed out his chest. “Right, well, I was giving you an ideal scenario. We should hone your skills and try some challenges.” He tried to tamp down his eagerness. “Let’s take it again, from the top..”

 

*

 

“Fuck! Tom! Did you turn off the alarm?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“The alarm! We have to be on the bridge in fifteen... Oh, god, I do not have time for this.”

 

“Hey! I need to use the shower, too.”

 

“You should have thought of that before you turned off the alarm!”

 

“Harry!”

 

“Fine! I don’t have time to argue. Just get in here.”

 

_Double score_.

 

*

 

“So I was reading ahead in that book.”

 

“Yeah?” He curled Harry a little closer to him, trying to pretend like he only had eyes for the screen in front of them.

 

“Yeah. The last chapter is kind of interesting. It takes about making a move, you know, to date?”

 

“…Yeah?”

 

“So I’ve got my eye on someone and I’m thinking of doing it. The last chapter basically just says to go for it, but I’m not sure.” Harry let out a sigh. “What would you do?”

 

“I, uh, I don’t know. I didn’t write the book.”

 

“Yeah, but if you did.”

 

“I guess, I would just try to show them I care, you know. Oh, hey, this is a good part. Watch his eyes.”

 

Harry snuggled closer. “Oh yeah, that’s a pretty neat effect.”

 

*

 

“Tom, please sit down.”

 

_Uh oh. Angry Harry_. “Is there an issue?”

 

“Do you really not know?”

 

“Um. Know what?”

 

“All the touches, staying here so late. Insisting we share a blanket. Now it’s escalating to _kissing_ , Tom! How far does it have to go?”

 

“Look, I, uh, I think you’ve got the wrong idea… I was just, you know.”

 

Harry leaned in and kissed him intently. He smirked. “It’s not just for practice, Tom,” he said. At Tom’s dumbfounded look he laughed. “Let’s go make out under the two blankets that I mysteriously own.” With a wink he pulled Tom to his feet and led him away.

 

_Aw yeah_ , Tom thought. _Triple score._


End file.
